How to move on

Failures happen naturally because we all tend to make mistakes. The truth is that although everybody makes mistakes, the recovery process varies from person to person. Some people become mentally crippled which slows down their goal achievement process. So how to overcome the post-failure stance and embark a new attempt?

  1. Dealing with emotions

Avoiding both thoughts and emotions is the biggest mistake people make when they fail something. Don’t try to hold in your negative feelings and damage your health. Thoughts are just words and emotions are just a response. Think about that each time you have another wave of anger and despair. Name your feelings and thank your mind each time they occur. It seems weird but it actually helps processing your disappointment over time.

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  1. Acceptance

Focusing on the failure itself is totally wrong. You can’t fix it, but you are able to look back at the cause of the failure if you can’t stop thinking about it. It is really hard to think of something else or move on right away, so use your temptation to define the moment you got off. Write down what happened and what were the causes and the consequences. Be specific and don’t use judgment. Just state the facts to reflect on the consequences of your activity. It will help you prevent further mistakes. 

  1. Positive reframing

Each situation has positive features, even what we call a failure. Don’t take the title of the paragraph as whitewashing your mistakes. Discover the positive sides of the failure and what you have learned or earned from that. State the facts in a different key. For example, think like “I haven’t found the right hair salon yet” instead of thinking “I’ve failed my keratin treatment in NYC”. Use a bit of humor to encourage yourself. “I haven’t learned how to make fries, but I think I’m getting better with the puree” sounds better than just blaming yourself.

Set realistic goals and try again. Make your new plan flexible and use the perks of analyzing your past mistakes. New obstacles may occur and not all of them are predictable, but you will achieve your goal eventually.

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